Thursday, September 6, 2012

Full Days

So today was a day full of activities. Got my husband out the door , took Chanchis to school, went to the YMCA and did some Zumba, then came home and read some scriptures, and worked on PTA and Relief Society things. My boys took a much needed nap after lunch and then it was time to pick up Chanchis, swing by Sonic for Happy Hour, come home, prepare dinner, put kids in bed. worked on some more things, cleaned the kitchen, ran a load of laundry and sat down and type.  But after school today here at home it was a full day. Bradley was given his first homework assignment and it was like pulling teeth trying to do his homework.  So after he was done the boys played around the house running around like maniacs. But just before bath time the boys were playing hide-and-seek, and this is when I heard my little Sammy counting, "...ten, eleventeen, twelveteen, thirteen, fourteen, etc.....". Now these are the moments I look forward too. Sammy is such a character!! Of course I had to spoil the fun because they were hiding in my closet and lets just say we store some very special equipment to welcome any burglars or intruders. Then later after bath time came the reward of my heart's day work, Bradley read two more books without being asked or complaining about the size of the text on the book and he read them to his brothers. AHHHHH!! Relief!! He secretly loves to read but he does not know that yet!!  Then later that evening after the house is nice and quiet I cut out a bunch of lunch notes/jokes for Bradley and then I walked into my mudroom to put a load of laundry and I stepped on the whole Island of Sodor Train Line. But then I realized, Sammy and Carter have been here.  I walked back into the kitchen and there under our stool shines Bradley's old toothbrush, and I immediately know who is the culprit for this, Carter the toothbrush swipper, not covering his track too well. Sometimes I forget the fun the boys have in the house until I have to clean it.  Lately I have taken a different approach on cleaning instead of getting upset because the boys made a mess I just clean it and try to think of how much fun they had playing with the toys they leave out. I also try to have a good attitude about cleaning because then they may think cleaning is fun and not repulsive. I was also thinking maybe I got it down, 3 boys is not that bad.  Maybe I finally got my balance back after almost a year and despite the fact that I have not dusted in forever, maybe I could handle one more. The thought is not ludicrous, but then I think, could I handle one more? How would I bounce back from that one?  Already I have struggled to keep a clean, organized, harmonious home with three busy boys, would one more person throw the balance off?  I like it now, or am I getting too comfortable?  I am finally loosing weight, do I want to go back to "that" stage? Brad and I have talked about it and I have no doubt that he was ready almost 6 months ago. But me, I am having so much fun now, Bradley does our FHE's, Sammy's is going to bed at a decent time, Carter sleeps through the night,  now that I am just getting the swing of things with 3 boys!! Why?  Why do these crazy thoughts creep into my mind? I have always known we would be a family of 6.  But as Carter joins nursery I just know that I have to let go of the the thoughts of "what if we are just meant to be 5" and accept the idea that 6 isn't that bad. No!! I am not pregnant, I am just trying to convince my brain of what my heart has to say. I remember that when I got pregnant with Carter it was just a leap of faith. I did not think so much of the details. Now, I think well, if I were to have one more my kids will need their mom as soon as I walk in the house after the hospital.  There will no breaks. I will still run into trains, do some homework with the boys, run a couple of loads, make some dinner, and add about 20 extra diaper changes, and lets not forget those late night feedings.  It all sounds like a lot of work, but it only last about 12 months and then it is all gone, and it would be all gone for us, because we would be done. Somehow, I know I will bounce back, some how I know it will be okay. Now question lies, when will this madness begin?