Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Marriage more than just about LOVE

I knew this moment was going to come when my children were going to start wondering about relationships and marriage. This morning my 8 year asked me a question that I SHOULD be prepared to answer at the drop of a hat. But I am a rookie mother so I answered as best as I COULD. So we were having breakfast in our kitchen and suddenly we heard a squeaking cry from my bedroom, it was my 4 month old baby boy, he was ready to be changed and fed again for the 10th time that morning. Anyhow, my son in the kitchen said, "Mom, we should name said baby Mr. Squeakers and then he can marry our 1 year old girl cousin (who is also known for her squeaking), and they can be Mr. & Ms. Squeaker!!". My son is full of brilliant ideas, but I DID have to say something not purposely trying to shatter his new found idea, I replied "Well, that is cute but we can't marry our cousins." He quickly asked WHY? And here is where I ALMOST stumbled, without going into details I quickly replied, "Because it's weird!" Could I have come up with a better answer, maybe, but I was put on the spot and my brain does not seem to process these kind of subjects well so early in the morning. My son was satisfied with my answer and did not pursue the questioning any longer.  I know that these kind of questions are on the rise in the in our home and I want to give all my boys the best answers. I want to allow them to form their own opinions.  After he finished eating breakfast, I quickly thought of a the an ad the LGBT  community has posted on Facebook, " Marriage is not religion, atheist get married, Marriage is not about procreation, the infertile marry, Marriage is not about finance, it can weave poverty, marriage is about "LOVE", and that is beautiful." When I read this ad, I thought well that is pretty darn catchy, but is it true? So if its' about "LOVE" why is my son's idea of cousins getting married so strange. It used to be kind of funny when people said well if you are from Tennesse you can marry your cousin.  Sometimes my 5 year old says he wants to marry our dog because he "LOVEs" her. If marriage is about "LOVE", why can't we marry our parents, siblings, or grandparents, don't we love them too?  So maybe marriage is more than just about "LOVE". What do you think? I would like to hear from you, and what you would have done in my shoes, if you don't want to post online, you may message me privately, this is a very sensitive subject so if you choose to reply to my message please be coordial.